It would appear that the stars have aligned, for we are knee-deep in a new page! Hopefully we get things wrapped up in short order here. I'm busy with pre-moving stuff and restraining myself from strangling certain people, and Ant's uh... well, hey:

Ant: CAUSE I BEEN FEELIN UNINSPIRED
Lance: I'll inspire my foot off in your ass!
Ant: -.-
Lance: the stump will be a constant reminder of inspiration
Ant: you will be footless
Lance: I'm all ready a pirate, no questions will arise
Lance: Plus, I've always kind of wanted to stump a chick
Ant: ...
Lance: Bitches be crying for my stump
Lance: JOINT-DEEP IN THAT SHIT

He's still been fairly busy gathering money, I think he's running a drug cartel or something. He keeps muttering some shit about dairy and Wal-Mart, but whenever he talks all I can focus on is the terrified-looking young woman on all fours that winces whenever he bends down to do another line off of her back. Her eyes are like saucers.

In case I don't post anything before the 31st, my internet's getting shut off that day, and I'll be moving out on June 2. I still need to get a wi-fi card to take advantage of the internet in the house, so it might be a few days after that before I'm able to get back on. I'll once again have to resort to leaving homoerotic messages on Danny's voicemail to get my kicks like normal people for a few days, but hopefully things will get straightened out in a timely manner.

Toodles!

I just want to issue an official BIG FUCKING CONGRATS to Ant for his college graduation today. He's always been an awesome and loyal friend, and after hearing him bitch about college life for the three years that I've known him, I'm glad to see him closing that chapter of his life. Cut loose and choke a bitch, buddy, you have earned it!

I'm also extending another BIG FUCKING CONGRATS to my friend Amanda who is also graduating from college today. Most people here won't know who she is, but every single one of you can go fuck yourselves. Amanda is by far the most comfortable chick I have ever passed out on, and that means a lot to me. I salute you, fair pillow woman.

I won't be attending either graduation since I will be golfing with the two fat guys. It's very important. Very.

Comics resume this upcoming week, and you'll also be treated to my detailed thoughts on Spider-Man 3. Did I like it? Did I hate it? Tune in next week and find out!

Do not go see Spider-Man 3. Please, just don't go see it. Oh my god he was my favorite super hero in all of fiction. I'm going to cry for hours. Hours and hours over this film. How does this kind of thing happen?